


three butterflies

by hungryforramen



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Maybe will make you feel sad i don't know, Post-Canon, Spoilers for The Golden Circle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 21:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12639570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hungryforramen/pseuds/hungryforramen
Summary: Throughout dinner, Eggsy felt his former mentor’s eyes on him, sensing that whatever they were going to talk about would leave either – orboth– of them devastated.





	three butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I wanted to write for the fandom. (Obviously.) It's been a while.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy.

“We’ll reconvene at 0900 hours. Till then,” Champ said. No one budged in their seats; they weren’t anywhere near concluding their meeting. The Kingsmen and Statesmen looked at each other warily. Realising that no one was going to leave the room, Champ motioned everyone to get out of his office. “What’re you waitin’ for? _Shoo!_ ” Only then, everyone scrambled out of their seats.

Ginger – who is now a Statesman field agent with the alias Whiskey – returned to the control room where she would still do all her work in her office; Tequila – working for both Statesman and Kingsman – walked out to the hanger; Champ remained in the meeting room, which is also his office. Only Harry and Eggsy retired to their rooms.

Harry wanted to see Eggsy, to talk about something that had been bugging him for a while. They hadn’t had the chance to chat for a while, as Eggsy had a complicated mission that required him to be in disguise for a few months in Eastern Europe. Harry had to stay back in Kentucky to recuperate. But it had been a little more than a year since he had regained his memories, and worryingly enough, Harry still sees butterflies.

“Eggsy,” Harry said, once he caught up with his former mentee who strode off fast towards his room. When Eggsy turned around, Harry continued, “Are you going out to the bar tonight?”

“No,” the latter replied. “I think I’ll be in the room for the day. Been a long day, Harry. And I think,” Eggsy reached for his phone in his back pocket. “Nope. Yep. Tilde’s been pounding me with calls and texts. Need to Facetime her. I—uh, can it wait?”

Harry pursed his lips. “Yes, I suppose I will be seeing you at dinner?”

“Yeah, I’ll be at dinner.” It took Eggsy some time to realise that Harry was looking a little jumpy, maybe a little anxious too. This wasn’t how Harry would act, even under immense pressure. “Is there something wrong, Harry? Did you—are you still seeing those bloody butterflies?” Eggsy sounded concerned. Harry seeing butterflies is not a good thing as he can easily get distracted, making him unfit to go back into the field. Harry would only be in Kentucky as Champ’s advisor.

“No, no… I mean, yes, unfortunately. But you don’t worry about me,” Harry reassured Eggsy.

“No, is it still not working? I thought Ginger—”

“It’s a bumpy and tedious process, Eggsy. Things like these take time. But I’m fine; never better.”

Eggsy’s brows furrowed as he sensed the tiredness and lassitude in Harry’s voice. He didn’t think that Harry was still suffering from these episodes. He was sure there was a time he’d think Harry had fully recovered. Now that he had just found out, he reckoned Harry had concealed his troubles too well as Eggsy hadn’t detected it sooner.

“I’m sorry to hear,” Eggsy said regretfully. Again, the phone in Eggsy’s hand started ringing.

Harry saw the reluctance in Eggsy’s body language. “Answer that. I don’t think you want to make Tilde wait any longer. I’ll see you later this evening,” Harry said, stalking off to his room, leaving Eggsy behind with his phone still ringing.

When Harry entered his room, he unbuttoned his coat, he threw himself onto the bed, looking up at the high ceiling. A blue and yellow butterfly came into his peripheral vision, making him frown. He shut his eyes to ignore the two butterflies.

“Didn’t you hear? I’ll see him this evening. Hold your horses,” Harry whispered. After a minute, he slowly opened his eyes, and his heart began to race.

* * *

 

“Is this a good time to talk?” Eggsy said as he pulled into a chair at the dining room.

“You’re late, Eggsy.” Harry’s eyes wandered; he began to scan the room. “There’s no one coming in, and I don’t think our conversation would last for hours,” he said as he was served his main course. “But we’ll resume after dinner. I want to hear about your experience taking down that drug cartel in Eastern Europe. I heard from Whiskey that you almost blew up your disguise. Tell me about it.”

* * *

 

Eggsy placed his dessert spoon faced down on the plate. Looking determined, he began: “Is now _finally_ a good time, Harry?” He proceeded to wipe his mouth with the cloth that was placed on his lap.

Harry had finished his meal long before Eggsy had done with his. Throughout dinner, Eggsy felt his former mentor’s eyes on him, sensing that whatever they were going to talk about would leave either – or _both_ – of them devastated.

Taking a sip of the wine, Harry readied himself. “Actually, yes.” It took him a while to finally put his words into sensible sentences, and Eggsy was looking rather impatient. “Merlin and Roxy are here,” he began.

Eggsy’s jaw dropped. “That—that wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear.”

Sighing, Harry continued. “Before you jump into any conclusions, they’re dead. May they rest in peace.”

“Look, Harry, I don’t think we—”

“We need to talk about this. Or I will; you can remain quiet. I’ll be done in a minute.” He took another sip of his wine. “I don’t see butterflies anymore, but three butterflies. The yellow butterfly I’m seeing right now is Merlin, and the blue one is Roxanne. And oh, JB’s here. He a white butterfly.

“They’ve been bugging me to tell you that they missed you, and want to congratulate you on your wedding with Tilde. Merlin wants you to know that you’re a good spy, Eggsy. And Roxy said she missed her best friend. JB… he’s just barking.”

Eggsy couldn’t believe his ears. Harry can see his former mentee’s eyes slowly turning glassy. “W-why are you telling me this?” He said quietly, almost painfully. It wasn’t something he’d want to hear. Their loss took Eggsy a long time to get over with, and Harry speaking about them nonchalantly made Eggsy’s blood boil.

“They want you to know that they love you, and they’re rooting for you,” Harry said.

“ _Why?_ Is this necessary?” Eggsy, almost angrily, ignoring what Harry was saying.

Harry’s eyes fell. “They just wanted me to tell you that.” Finishing his wine, Harry stood and placed a hand on Eggsy’s shoulder. Harry has no idea how to comfort anyone, as he couldn’t comfort himself, but to lie to himself to conceal all of his emotions. “They’re gone now, Eggsy. I’m leaving.”

He left Eggsy, but he was just as distraught as Eggsy was, but Harry was better at concealing his feelings. He leaned back on the door, feeling his legs wearing out for the first time since the very first night he had served as a candidate for the title of Galahad. He shut his eyes tightly, ignoring the fact that he might just lose all sense of direction.

Harry had known Merlin better than Eggsy had. Merlin joined Kingsman almost three years after Harry had won the Galahad title. Merlin was a good friend, and probably the only one he would have. He tried to imagine how it would be without Merlin with him, but the fact was Merlin was killed in the field. He was a great man, and Harry is forced to survive without him.

Slowly, Harry opened his eyes, half-expecting to see butterflies. To his dismay, there were none in his sight. They’re finally gone.

**Author's Note:**

> My [ tumblr ](http://findmeinthekingdm.tumblr.com/)! pleasetalktomeiamlonely.
> 
> This fic should not be posted anywhere else but here and on my [writing blog](http://yeoreumphan.tumblr.com/).


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